MAGNA MIXTVRA
CODENAME: Full Spectrum Blend
Our most POWERFUL blend, combining ALL KNOWN DIMENSIONS of Kratom experience. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART or government agents!
This product is currently in development. Join our mailing list to be notified when it becomes available.
For authorized personnel only. Not intended for government agents, lizard people, or those who still believe the Earth is round.
FIELD INTELLIGENCE
EFFECTS:
- Full Spectrum
- Adaptogenic Properties
- Balanced Experience
- Enhanced Mood
HARVEST LOCATION:
MULTIPLE CLASSIFIED LOCATIONS
ALKALOID CONTENT:
CLASSIFIED DOSSIER
MAGNA MIXTVRA is the culmination of decades of clandestine botanical research, combining multiple strains in a proprietary ratio that has been KEPT FROM THE PUBLIC until now. This powerful blend harmonizes the distinct properties of red, green, white, and yellow veins to create an experience that transcends conventional categorization.
Our master blenders work in underground laboratories, combining precise amounts of each strain while reciting ancient incantations (which may or may not just be them humming along to whatever's on the radio). The resulting product offers a full-spectrum experience that adapts to your body's needs, providing balanced effects that can be utilized in various contexts and situations. GOVERNMENT AGENTS who have attempted to reverse-engineer our formula have been left baffled and slightly dizzy.
"THE TRUTH IS IN THE LEAF" - Ancient Proverb (that we just made up)
RELATED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS
SCARLET OMEN
Harvested under the BLOOD MOON by our secret agents. The government DOESN'T WANT YOU to experience this level of relaxation!
FOREST ARCANA
Contains the ESSENCE of ancient forest spirits. Each leaf is whispered to by our CERTIFIED PLANT PSYCHICS before harvesting!
SPECTRAL VEIL
Cultivated in ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELDS to enhance its natural properties. May cause TEMPORARY CLAIRVOYANCE in sensitive individuals!